So far 2010 has not gone the way I had hoped it would. I know, 1 month in, so I should give it a chance to get better....which I will, but that doesn't really help my current disappointment with the situation.
I'm not a believer in Karma (I do think what comes around goes around, but...not Karma exactly) and even less so now. Why do I say this? Because I did not plant a lemon tree, yet life seems to be giving me lemons...limes would be much better or avocados maybe? Either way, January in Ohio is lemony - it's cold and gray and yucky and now my car has decided that I don't need to be able to open my door from the inside - just the outside (thank goodness for that), but at least I have that to be thankful for - climbing in and out would be a bit much don't you think? So my dealer will be hearing from me soon about that...
So my car is not a lemon but my January is. It's ok. No word on my grad school application yet - still in some kind of OSU purgatory called "academic review" - not exactly sure what that means, but I have decided that while in Purgatory I would check out my options. I am a restless soul of sorts and I have been back in Ohio now for over a year (which seems to be my breaking point) and I can feel the skin chafing... so maybe I will stay and maybe I will go - I don't know. I love the community I have found here in Columbus so that is a factor to weigh in - it is the sweetness for my lemonade, but my purgatory window shopping has opened my eyes to more options. Enticed, I have begun the application process for the Latin American Studies Program at the University of New Mexico. I have no idea where this will lead - whether I will get accepted or not, but it feels good to feel the chispa coming back - to feel passionate about something again - to feel like me.
Life is scary...change is scary especially when thinking about starting over....the financial cost, the emotional cost. But change is exciting too...and new places and people and life are all good things. So lemons in January = lemonade in August? Who knows...things haven't turned out the way I was hoping, but maybe they will just turn out even better. God is not a puppet master, but I do believe God is the sweetness to life's lemonade (oh, and don't worry - I did pray about beginning this process, in case any of you were wondering ;)
1 comment:
Hi Laura...I like your reflections about change.I can relate. Since you wrote this I think you have some plans for grad school now, right?!Hang in there with the lemonade! I need to remind myself often to "live in the present" and the present doesn't always feel ideal. It would be interesting to talk about your Bolivia experience a year later. I find that often I can't identify what I am learning or how I am growing until I am past the experience. I imagine we could both talk for a long time! ;-) Take care and best wishes with the grad school planning. If you stopped by, I would load you up with avocado to go with the lemonade!;-) Abrazos...Laurie
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